Distance

Two cool kids, 1990s

Being far away from home, in such a different place, has allowed me to distance myself from events happening at home. Sometimes I’m grateful for that, but sometimes I really want to be there.
I’m not sure how to write this. I know some of my family members read this blog, and I wish I was there to talk to them about it in person instead of trying to express myself here, publicly, without conversation.
Also this blog is fundamentally about me, and what I want to say right now shouldn’t be.
A week ago, my grandfather died. For years he’s been joking about death but I never thought it would actually happen. Even though he’s been sick for some time, it just didn’t seem like a possibility.
I’m still not sure how I feel. My reaction is buried under coping mechanisms and trivial distractions I’ve invented for myself. It might hit me when I go home to a different world in twelve days, or it might hit in the next few hours. But nothing changes the fact that my grandfather was- and still is- one of the coolest people I know. So is his wife, my grandmother. There’s photographic evidence of that.

Two cool kids plus baby, 1960s

All the best, Ted Coughran! If I can live my life just half as awesomely, love my family with just half as much joy, and live with just half as much humor as you- you and Gram, I will be happy. I wish I had told you that.

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